Birth of Alexander

Water Birth at Pinderfields Birth Centre, Wakefield WF1 4TT

When we think about Alexander’s birth “amazing” comes to mind first. It stays with you for life.

Read about Alexander’s birth here-and hold on to your hat!

How I spent my second and third pregnancy trimester…

From early on in my pregnancy, I started to devour tons of antenatal prep materials, hypnobirthing books, articles, and…watermelon. I also went to various courses and workshops. I wanted to know as much as I could to prepare myself for birth, specifically for a water birth, that would be as gentle as possible on me and my baby. I simply did not want to freak out. But there was something more behind my motivation to learn and prepare for birth…

I categorically wanted my baby not to experience trauma. I didn’t want him (and me) to be prodded, pulled, forced or even worse, treated with “just a clip” (electronic fetal monitoring aka a sharp screw that is screwed to baby’s head during birth for “monitoring” to check baby’s heartbeat-guess what, after having a screw forced into their scalp, their heart rate won’t be great, because that stuff is deeply painful and distressing). Avoiding this, and others medieval torture tools of obstetrics that have little to no evidence of being useful in birth, and not allowing anyone to separate us after birth was of key importance for me (there’s a deeper story behind that too-I will write about this one day, in a separate post). Yes, I was doing the allowing. It was my body , and my baby and I was not going to let a stranger “sign off” my birth plans as if they had legal rights over my reproductive organs.

Embracing the old adage “knowledge is power”, I wanted to learn everything about birth. The more I learned, the more I understood that I had the best chance of a positive birth experience when my environment (healthcare staff including) supports, really, wholeheartedly supports birth physiology. And seeing the experiences of nearly all of my friends and family, I realised this attitude and support in the birth room is as rare as a unicorn knitting its own rainbow.

How was I going to protect myself from the interventions that I categorically wanted to avoid in the thick of labour? It was time to seek and prepare a true birth partner… I asked my husband to join me on my knowledge quest, so that he fully understood his role in protecting my birth space physically, practically and emotionally. We prepared ourselves as much as we could, discussing various scenarios , each time thinking about protecting the flow of oxytocin, and by the end of the pregnancy we were both very well informed. Here’s a spoiler alert: nothing could prepare us for the sheer beauty, power, and simply sock-knocking intensity of birth.

Early labour signs, at home

My waves started on Saturday evening, sometime between 10 pm and midnight... It wasn't a latent phase I expected, and the first waves appeared to come in 3s every 10 mins.... Seemingly there was no “warning” or a gentle build up that I read so much about. Maybe I was relaxed and missed all the subtle signs? Because I didn't feel my tummy tightening at the front at all, and all the sensations were in the back, I wasn't really sure if I was in labour, despite the regularity of the waves and their intensity. For a good few hours, I truly didn’t think i was in labour. Instead, I thought I was about to need the loo, and that pressure in my butt just felt like a huge poo, but without actual poo happening :-)

Labour contractions (surges) intensifying

A wonderful yoga teacher whose birth prep workshop I attended, recommended managing surges by meeting a sensation with a sensation, for example, by bashing a wheat bag against a wall. This is a good piece of advice and does work for many of my customers too. My only issue was that I needed a pneumatic drill to wreck the bedroom wall to match my sensations…. With no pneumatic drill or a huge wrecking ball in sight, I wanted and needed something quickly to help me balance those crushing waves (waves is how I refer to contractions, or surges). That something was…water.

Is it better to give birth in water?

My husband, Finn (if you’re reading this Finny, you were the best birthing hubz), started to get the house ready with low soft lights and running a hot bath (for safety reasons, I do not recommend for it to be hotter than 37°C, check your comfort-if it’s too hot for you, it will be too hot for your baby). As soon as I got into a bath, I felt much more relaxed. The hot water felt amazing!!! It really did help to take the edge off the waves. It helped me to stay balanced and focused on my breathing. It eased tension in my back and I can see how, apart from the mindful breathing, it was my top tool for coping well with surges at that stage. Even at that point, I wasn't sure if I was actually in labour because I did not feel any of the sensations in the bump. Instead, it was an intense pressure in my back, and in my butt, similar to period sensations. Looking back, I know that was the pressure of baby’s head on my cervix.

Should I go to hospital at this stage of labour?

After a few hours and quite intense waves, we agreed that my husband should rang the birth centre to check if we could come in. I was busy birthing and in no mood to engage in any potential argy bargy on the phone with a stranger. They were ready to receive us, but I didn't want to be anywhere but my bedroom and could NOT imagine travelling by that point. The most comfortable way for me to meet each wave was standing, leaning with my arms against a wall. I could not focus on anything else but the breathing and meeting each wave with deep, low "ha" sounds, breathing down into my belly. After about 6 hours of me doing very loud (but not high pitch) haaaaa (luckily, I did not have the awareness of the passing time at all), and my husband trying to comfort me, we decided it's time to travel to the birth centre, like originally planned.
I had my eyes closed almost the entire time and kept dark glasses on during the 20 minute journey, as we wanted to keep that oxytocin flowing....Dark glasses-check, eyes closed-check, breathing through each surge and doing loud haaa sound-check!

At the Pinderfields Birth Centre, Wakefield

When we arrived at the birth centre, on an early Sunday morning, I kept visualising the water birth I so wanted, complete with a large birthing pool, dim lights and me haaaa-ing my way through the waves. I consented to a vaginal examination (It’s optional, by the way! You’re under no obligation to accept it in any situation, you do the allowing!) and we found out I was 7 cm dilated. My husband made sure midwives have seen my birth plan :-), and a lovely midwife with clear interest in a natural birth prepared a pool for us almost immediately, and left us to it, just as we wanted. Being unobserved was an excellent way of settling in, creating our own cosy space, and stocking up on much needed rest after the car journey and the noisy triage processing in the birth centre. Finn, knowledgeable about the role of oxytocin in birth, and with his usual calm, took care of the environment: he pulled all the blinds down, covered the clock, and set up soft fairly lights and candles around the room. I got into the pool as soon as I could and found that, again, the warm water took the edge off my waves beautifully. The water felt sooooo good. I opted for gas and air, as I found my waves were getting very intense. My husband kept passing me water to drink, some snacks and gas and air on demand.
I lost the concept of time (again, and also-thanks God!) and I could only focus on managing my waves and sensations with breathing. I kept talking to myself about opening like a flower (cringey but, hey, whatever does the job!). I knew that I was holding back and I needed to “let go” to birth my baby. Allowing myself to open, letting go and fully surrendering to the power of my birth, was the most difficult bit for me. It took time, breathing and talking myself into it for me to let go fully (and that’s ok too!). The ultimate motivation, that one though that helped, was “I want to meet my son”.

Transition phase of labour

Transition in labour happens when you’re about to reach full cervical dilation and before actively pushing your baby just before birth. It can be as short as a few seconds, or it can be a bit longer and take an hour and more. It is very individual and it is completely normal. Surges (or contractions) leading up to transition might feel more intense, so it’s especially important to focus on a relaxing and undisturbed atmosphere, and not let anyone disrupt your flow of oxytocin. Your body needs this time to rest, recovery and to gather strength for the final bit of pushing and welcoming your baby. A complete lull in contractions is normal here. Keep yourself warm (oxytocin loves warmth), have a drink, a snack, loving support from your partner. In order to birth your baby, you need to feel safe. It’s also normal to feel a bit panicky for a moment or feel like you can’t go on. Listen to your body and its wisdom-and rest. Your baby might need this rest too, to complete the final stage of their birth.

I did have a classic transition moment just before Alexander's head emerged and I felt briefly like we were not progressing, so I said to my husband "I can't do it anymore, I want them to take it out!" (meaning I want a caesarean birth NOW!). Saying something that is out of character, is normal at this stage. Of course, my husband, well trained in all things birth and hypnobirthing, recognised that we're nearly there and encouraged me with "You’re doing it, you can do it, we will be meeting our baby soon!"

The waterbirth

Still submerged, and enjoying the relaxing effects of hot water, I remember reaching down and feeling Alexander's head with my hand. He was still in his amniotic sac. I couldn’t believe it. Feeling the head of my baby emerging gave me extra motivation to embrace the waves and let go of tension once more, to fully open and meet my beautiful boy. I felt the urge to push and did no longer hold back. I did feel the infamous "ring of fire" but ...I was so glad to (really!)...because I knew we’re close, I knew it meant he will be meeting us soon. I had two big urges for pushing, really it was letting go more than pushing, and I felt Alexander slipping out, and it was such an ecstatic moment....Ecstatic, joyful, powerful and I can’t put it into words how monumental and profound it was.
My husband caught Alexander in his hands, as he swam out. He placed him on my chest while we were still in the pool. It was around 3 pm on Sunday but I was completely oblivious to time. Our baby was so calm and kept looking at us and being very alert. I kept cuddling him and kissing the top of his head. He was here, we were safe. I did it! We did it! We waited for the cord to go completely white and flat and then Finny cut it.

The “third stage” of labour, the golden hour and soon after

After a while I needed to rest. I got out of the pool and gave Alexander to Finn, so he could rest on Finn’s chest, skin-to-skin, while I was focusing on breathing and birthing the placenta. I opted for physiological management of the so called “third stage”(stages of birth are very individual). Alexander’s placenta emerged after 45mins or so. It was relatively easy to birth it, as it felt soft and heavy and it was such a relief when it finally came out. Later on, Alexander got weighed (he was just an ounce short of nine pounds), and we moved to a family room to catch up on sleep. It was a nice room, and thankfully, not very clinical, with a big enough bed for us three and a private bathroom, which I really appreciated. There was a cot provided for Alexander, but he did not spend a lot of time in it, I wanted him close to me. I took a shower, changed in comfy clothes and we all went to sleep together in the big bed (if you’re reading this and gasping, don’t worry, we had read and followed safe co-sleeping guidance, much to our and our baby’s enjoyment of closeness, safety and connection). The lovely midwives brought us toast with butter and hot chocolate to drink, and tested Alexander’s hearing, right there in our room, while we were resting. We had a snooze and then went home, still bursting with happiness, and still being exhausted :-). Welcome to motherhood.

Our birth experience

I visualised the birth of my son many times during my pregnancy. I know I could not have achieved this level of confidence and self-empowerment without the antenatal learning and hypnobirthing techniques. Don’t get me wrong, it was super-intense, it did require all emotional strength I could muster. But it was still my dream birth, it came true and it wasn’t a coincidence. I have prepped really well for this birth, and so did my husband. He was my advocate when I was too deep in “a birth zone” to be having a conversation and stating my choices. Finny was the guardian of my birth space and I did the beautiful and amazing job of birthing our son. It stayed with us and it shaped us as parents, and as people. It set the tone for our parenthood. When we think about Alexander’s birth “amazing” comes to mind first. It stays with you for life.

Magdalena, the founder of Power in Birth®